Meghan Fitzgerald attended James Madison University and received degrees in Communication Studies and Human Resource Development. This year she lived in Chicago working in the Campus Ministry department of St. Rita of Cascia High School.

I would say that my faith journey this year has truly been a roller coaster experience. There are many things this year that have really fulfilled me and allowed me to feel more confident as a faithful Christian. However, some experiences really made me question things I had ignored in the past and even after ten months of living the Augustinian values I just don’t have the answers.

The past ten months were filled with many personal struggles and successes. My saving grace this year were the Kairos retreats that I was able to lead on multiple occasions throughout the year. The retreats helped me to reach out to the students on a more personal level and allowed me see them in a whole new light. Even if just for a few days while on retreat, the students stop being the macho jerks I see in the hallways everyday and became vulnerable young men just trying to figure out life. The retreats also gave me an opportunity to share my faith with the boys on a deeper level and helped them to better understand me as a person. They allowed me to put my faith in action and hopefully be more of a role model to the students. Being on retreat with the students and forming the stronger relationships gave me a sense of validation for the work that I do. The retreats not only renewed me professionally, they also revitalize me spiritually. Each retreat was such a powerful experience in its own way and each taught me something new about myself personally, professionally, and spiritually.

“You have made us for yourself oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” This St. Augustine phrase was somewhat of a theme throughout the year for us as Augustinian Volunteers and it is one we said at school at least twice a day during morning and afternoon prayer, but to be completely honest……I struggle with this concept. I understand the idea that we should always be seeking the Lord and never become complacent in our relationship with God, but being the pessimist I am, I can’t help but hear this phrase and think to myself….I’ll never be good enough. This is a personal struggle that I actively try to work on everyday. Some days are better than others, but I keep on trying to live as faithfully as possible.

The boys at school often asked me why I became a Volunteer. At first, I found this to be a very frustrating question because every time I answered it I found myself giving different responses and sometimes even getting defensive in my answer. However, after ten months of service, my faith as grown and I now find peace in my answer. I can now confidently say in response “I am here this year as a Volunteer because God wants me here” and I truly believe this.